Well done DM, must make sense to someone

Tory grandee Lord Heseltine clearly forgot when he appeared on the BBC’s Question Time last night, and when his wife Ann called. The former deputy prime minister was outlining a complicated defence of the Government’s economic strategy and its deficit reduction programme at St Paul’s Cathedral when his phone rang.

Keep it in the family

Is nepotism holding Italy back? Hasn’t done North Korea any harm. The people started with nothing and still have most of it left.

And for dessert, Baked Alaskan?

The squirrels were shot at River Cottage in Plymouth and served to customers braised in tomato and red wine sauce…..DM

What a bummer

A prisoner’s plan to conceal his mobile phone from guards at a jail in Welikada, Sri Lanka, by hiding it up his rectum was foiled when the device started ringing from inside him.