From the ‘good news’ column

Cruises to snub Oscars after Anne Hathaway makes bad impression The impression by Hathaway was actually spot-on.

All pulling together in times of hardship

Presumably exhausted after a morning protesting how the UK VAT hike will affect the poorest members of society, Shadow Chancellor Alan Johnson could only manage a two hour lavish lunch at the luxurious Savoy Bar and Grill.

Local headline

Province’s reservoirs awash with water What did they expect, lakes of Moscatel wine?

Trying to ruin their health, eh?

Beijing has run a highly publicised drive against lewd online content which it claims is the emotional health of children….DM

They must be using a high magnification microscope

Neuroscientists are examining whether political allegiances are hard-wired into people after finding evidence that the brains of conservatives are a different shape to those of left-wingers.

The Cable Guy

Vince Cable blasts undercover reporters who secretly taped him criticising the coalition If he doesn’t like something, he should say so. Whatever happened to principles? ….admitting he would need to be ‘more guarded’ in future. Translation: more economical with the truth