John Terry ‘will miss FA Cup game to see wife in Dubai’ Doesn’t say whose wife though!!
Meanies
Libya overturns Swiss man’s jail He should have built a stronger one.
If life were a swimming pool
The shallow end would be the place to find Katie Price by all accounts.
May the force be with you
Andy Murray banks on yoga and Simon Fuller Yoda might have been a better option.
No chance
Taliban leaders in secret UN disarmament talks Why would the UN even consider giving up their weapons?
There is a choice
Offering voters a choice between Conservative and Labour is a bit like offering the condemned man a choice between being hanged or shot.
Well done!
It took over 300 years for the UK to accumulate £380 billion worth of public debt. It has taken the current Labour government just 12 years to bring it up to £850 billion.
Stop press!
Gary Lineker and his wife Danielle wear matching leather jackets for a night out with her daughter (also in a leather jacket) Riveting. What a scoop. Mindbogglingly underwhelming.
Don’t agree with many Chinese policies, but…
Chinese pop stars face $12,000 lip-synching fine If this happened in the west there’d be almost no-one left, they’d all be broke.
Well, that’s been working out well!
Afghans ‘paid $2.5bn in bribes’