The pressure they put people under these days. For the first time in a long time, Victoria Beckham was spotted out without make-up. And she was going to the gym!! Standards are slipping, lass.
Compelling news
Oh, ‘stop press’. Victoria struggles to walk upstairs in super-tight dress And this merits a full page story!
Someone has to do it
Haddin injured for one-day series Does he only play well when he’s injured? Who injures him, the coach?
Spooky
Headline in one of the papers today: Patrick Stewart saw ghost performing Waiting for Godot Presumably it was a very spirited performance by this thespian ghost.
Ashes to dust
Is that a generous helping of humble pie I see on the horizon?
On a cloudy day
Australia turned up at the Oval this morning, so there go the Ashes.
Absolute madness
A ‘tweet’ from a Beeb commentator: Like a startled rabbit, Bell escapes the scent of Siddle only for the rabid Johnson to appear and stuff his twitching snout down his hole He’s actually commentating on the cricket! Must have made the same mistake as me and is listening to a vodka bottle.
Absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder
It would seem that those assuming the reins of power in the UK during Mr Bean’s (long) holiday do actually have one thing in common. Their absence from the seat of government! May the farce be with you.
It’s all go
Rumours that YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are to merge. New service will be YouTwitFace.
Living and learning
Amazed to discover that the Burmese python, which grows to an average length of 5.5 metres but can reach 8.2 metres, is not covered by the 1976 Dangerous Wild Animals Act in the UK, which means anyone can buy one from a pet shop.