Yaaaaawn

‘I’ve been gutless and I feel guilty’: Natasha Giggs breaks silence over affair with Ryan Giggs In which case why doesn’t she just do the honourable thing and get rid of the publicist, stop posing at every opportunity and quit touting her story to all and sundry.

Eyesight improves in Germany

Germany recognises Libyan rebels Excellent news when you think they couldn’t tell a Spanish cucumber from a German beansprout seed just a few weeks ago.

And to Finnish

The Finnish word ‘Saippuakuppinippukauppias’ is the world’s longest palindrome. It means ‘soap cup dealer’ apparently.

Underwhelming numbers

BBC F1 pit-lane reporter Jennie Gow said: “I can’t count the number of pieces Mark Webber’s car is in – there are bits everywhere, it’s probably four pieces.

Are we supposed to be surprised?

Figures released by Parliament show that the expenses system introduced following a series of scandals is substantially more of a burden on the taxpayer than the one it replaced.

No human involvement?

Watched by hundreds of onlookers, one of the elephants that went on the three-hour rampage is led away by a heavy rope.

Whatever happened to dignity?

Natasha’s publicist Max Clifford told ITV’s This Morning that ‘a lot more’ revelations were to come, and she is understood to have signed a six-figure tabloid deal. Imogen Thomas – also represented by Clifford – told Heat magazine she regretted getting involved with a married man and explained why she believed footballers’ errant wives rarely dumped them.